Yesterday, I cummed on my pet onion. 
I went to Walmart the other day to buy some onions, to please my onion fetish. I saw one very sexy onion that I decided to make my pet/sex partner. Like the dank memer I am, I decided to draw a picture of Riley Reid on the onion. After a long day of work, I decided to jack off, this time, in front of my onion. This cum was not how I expected however. A huge load of Colgate Optic White© sprayed out of my Oscar Meyer’s Sausage© and blasted all over my precious Riley Reid onion. I had to throw her away to hide the evidence. Shrek isn’t happy with me.