There is a CUM alert in aisle 4!

Someone came all over the floor. There is cum everywhere. You cannot stand in aisle 4 without seeing or feeling semen. The amount of sperm and ejaculate in aisle 4 is simply unnatural. Please for the love of God, we need a cleanup in aisle 4. This lagoon of cum must have been produced by a fucking blue whale. Oh God I can smell it. The cum has invaded my nostrils. There is so much cum. I cannot see. It's all white. Everything. White. Mom please help. SOS. Someone call 911, or 411, or a scientist I don't know. I'm *gargling noises* drowning- in- *more thick phlegm gargling* cum! *dial tone*