Aug 03 20:57:51 I have le draft if anyone wants to look Aug 03 20:58:42 http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/hammerh TAB TWO Aug 03 20:59:18 ooohhhh, well would you look at the time? Hey, Zyn, because you're on the crit team, why don't you take this one? Aug 03 20:59:24 * MrAnakinSpecter sceddadles. Aug 03 20:59:42 T_T Aug 03 20:59:45 Well, I /did/ offer earlier. Aug 03 21:00:02 MrAnakinSpecter: I am /captain/ of the crit team, thank you very much 3:< Aug 03 21:00:16 even better! Aug 03 21:00:31 Did you? I musta missed the offer :/ Aug 03 21:00:45 Hammerhead: Right then. Right from the start, you've got bloated sentences Aug 03 21:00:46 > At first examination, SCP-XXXX appears to be a large wooden crate measuring 1.8 meters tall by 1.8 meters wide by 5.4 meters long. Aug 03 21:00:56 You want this to be concise and clinical. Aug 03 21:01:12 Pretty much everything you state needs to be capable of being confirmed empirically Aug 03 21:01:19 and you want to trim down the irrelevant stuff. Aug 03 21:01:20 So Aug 03 21:01:36 the whole "at first examination, x appears" Aug 03 21:01:49 is the "first examination" part crucial to understanding the effect? Aug 03 21:02:02 Also, the use of "appears" tends to imply that the thing is not actually what it looks like Aug 03 21:02:21 Same with "This crate is constructed of plain oak wood and constructed in such a way that, by initial estimates, it could successfully carry objects weighing over 500 tons without loss of structural integrity." Aug 03 21:02:22 Well, arguably it isn't. Aug 03 21:02:33 * Hammerhead takes notes, "Trim the fat." Aug 03 21:02:39 drop one of those "contructed Aug 03 21:02:42 "s Aug 03 21:02:50 is the exact structural integrity really necessary Aug 03 21:02:53 also, why tons Aug 03 21:02:55 not kg? Aug 03 21:03:06 Ah, missed that. Aug 03 21:03:07 also, who would bother to calculate that? Aug 03 21:03:11 Metric tons Aug 03 21:03:15 > This crate has also proven to be airtight. Aug 03 21:03:22 Don't need this entire sentence Aug 03 21:03:27 damn you went full Dickens Hammerhead, didn't you? Aug 03 21:03:30 you can probably just slip the word "airtight" in somewhere Aug 03 21:03:57 > When one or more planks making up the crate are removed and the interior can be viewed, however, a space far larger than the size of the crate is revealed. Aug 03 21:04:04 So it's /not/ airtight? Aug 03 21:04:11 Well, I was thinking like a scientist trying to run the full gambit of possible details. Aug 03 21:04:17 Unless it always remains airtight when planks are removed and refit? Aug 03 21:04:22 > 19:04 Hammerhead Well, I was thinking like a scientist trying to run the full gambit of possible details. Aug 03 21:04:30 Yeah, but you're writing flash fiction Aug 03 21:04:38 there are a million and one things that a scientist would note Aug 03 21:04:48 but a reader isn't going to be interested in this thing on the sole basis of stats Aug 03 21:04:59 you're writing a work of fiction, not an encyclopedia entry Aug 03 21:05:13 Disclaimer- I am on a phone and keep up might be an issue for me in here. Aug 03 21:05:13 Hmm. Aug 03 21:05:15 > Inside the crate is an unlit space measuring approximately 28.9 kilometers by 28.9 kilometers by 86.9 kilometers. Aug 03 21:05:27 Why so exact Aug 03 21:05:33 * weizhong has quit (Quit: G'bye folks. Maybe for a while?) Aug 03 21:05:41 Also, how would anyone be able to confirm that this space is in fact /inside/ the crate? Aug 03 21:05:49 Hammerhead: When will you have access to a computer? Aug 03 21:06:08 In a few months. I do everything from my phone. Aug 03 21:06:29 You just type extremely quickly. Aug 03 21:06:58 From my perspective, at least. Aug 03 21:07:18 I am glad you are giving it such attention, though, I greatly appreciate that. Aug 03 21:07:32 I hit maybe 30 drafts an average week Aug 03 21:07:35 and I don't get paid for this. Aug 03 21:07:41 * Zyn shrug Aug 03 21:07:50 Worst comes worst, someone can get you a log of the chat Aug 03 21:07:54 or you can post to the forums Aug 03 21:08:08 Actually, forums might be better. Hang on. Aug 03 21:08:52 Yeah, you're a member of the mainsite Aug 03 21:08:52 For a quick rundown of replies: it's airtight when fully assembled. Why would it not be exactly measured? Aug 03 21:09:27 Hammerhead: so regardless of how sloppily someone reassembles it, it'll always be airtight? Aug 03 21:09:40 Also, because frickin kilometers. Aug 03 21:09:45 When assembled properly. Aug 03 21:10:03 and then "properly" becomes an issue Aug 03 21:10:10 how important is this airtight thing to the object? Aug 03 21:10:22 it seems like a relatively low-concern minutiae to me Aug 03 21:10:41 Also, re: exact measurements Aug 03 21:10:47 Not entirely, but as a disclaimer, it's a prison Aug 03 21:10:48 86.9 km is roughly 54 miles Aug 03 21:10:56 Yep Aug 03 21:11:06 5.4 meters Aug 03 21:11:08 I'm wondering why the Foundation would bother sending anything in Aug 03 21:11:26 Because like, finding out how big this thing is on the inside doesn't really seem important Aug 03 21:11:34 especially given that there's no guarantee they'll get it back Aug 03 21:11:35 Why did the bother sending anyone through the mirrors in 093? Aug 03 21:12:15 Not to step in, but you need a better answer to that question than "it was done that way in another skip" Aug 03 21:12:22 To see if anything is inside and if it poses a potential threat. Aug 03 21:12:23 093 is old as balls. Aug 03 21:12:31 Also 093 is confirmed portal or something Aug 03 21:12:40 This thing is apparently box what is bigger on inside? Aug 03 21:13:41 Yeah, and generally boxes are made to contain things. Again, they want to find out if there is anything of note inside. Aug 03 21:14:13 Ehh. Aug 03 21:14:14 You could craft a more compelling reason though. Aug 03 21:14:21 There's no reason to default to "cause" Aug 03 21:14:22 It seems like an offshoot of your other article Aug 03 21:14:23 Like Aug 03 21:14:30 This seems like more of a supplement to that article Aug 03 21:14:35 than a discrete SCP on its own Aug 03 21:14:43 the crosslink solidifies that. Aug 03 21:14:45 What would you suggest, Cimmerian? Aug 03 21:15:27 * GreenWolf is now known as AbsentWolf Aug 03 21:15:30 I haven't read the draft, but I know that "Boxes usually have goodies inside so let's open it and see" is a terrible way to inspire interest, in universe or out Aug 03 21:15:48 Unless you are three years old, or a cat Aug 03 21:15:49 What besides where it has been recovered from links it back to 2423? Aug 03 21:16:02 Hammerhead: It's a box with a guy inside. Aug 03 21:16:23 You control the story. You can make there be interesting. You can create a compelling reason to look inside. Without the compulsion, mind you. ;) Aug 03 21:16:30 That in itself isn't particularly compelling to me. Aug 03 21:16:36 Yeah, compulsions are overdone and kinda lame Aug 03 21:16:44 I have a story to go with this. Aug 03 21:17:06 sweet, that's usually a plus Aug 03 21:17:20 I'm not saying you don't, I'm saying you are the writer. The object isn't anything you don't make it. Aug 03 21:17:22 Hammerhead: Is it reliant on the reader being familiar with your other SCP? Aug 03 21:17:29 If it serves the story to change something, change it. Aug 03 21:18:01 Oh you meant that you had an explanation for the thing we are currently discussing... I get it Aug 03 21:18:10 Zyn: No, it isn't. Aug 03 21:18:23 Good. That's ideal. Aug 03 21:18:28 I haven't read your other article Aug 03 21:18:36 so I was wondering if there was more to this than I was picking up on Aug 03 21:19:01 But yeah, can't say I'm too interested in this as it is, but keep in mind that I am rather jaded lol Aug 03 21:19:02 Yeah, there is, but I haven't written the main part of the story yet. Aug 03 21:19:04 Also hungry. Aug 03 21:19:12 Hammerhead: Might want to do that, then? Aug 03 21:19:15 Fair enough. Aug 03 21:19:35 Like, this is up to par writing-wise, but the content doesn't really seem novel to me. Aug 03 21:19:45 I was hoping to get some reactions from it. I know that generally you need to grab the audience early on. Aug 03 21:19:51 Also, and someone can check me on this, isn't either Able or Cain contained in a weird box? Aug 03 21:19:55 Like basalt coffin or something? Aug 03 21:20:01 Idk, I'm not too big on humanoids Aug 03 21:20:17 something like that Aug 03 21:20:17 > 19:19 Hammerhead I was hoping to get some reactions from it. I know that generally you need to grab the audience early on. Aug 03 21:20:23 Yeah, but if you don't have your main story Aug 03 21:20:27 what's going to grab the audience? Aug 03 21:21:04 * Disconnected (Connection reset by peer) **** ENDING LOGGING AT Mon Aug 03 21:21:04 2015 **** BEGIN LOGGING AT Mon Aug 03 21:21:46 2015 Aug 03 21:21:46 * Now talking on #site17 Aug 03 21:21:46 * Topic for #site17 is: A place to chat with SCP Foundation staff, and to get your stuff critiqued if you're a site member! General chat in #site19 - unless staff are involved. | Ask for an admin if you want your app looked at. PLEASE GIVE US A FEW MINUTES TO RESPOND! Aug 03 21:21:46 * Topic for #site17 set by Eskobear (Fri Apr 03 11:10:48 2015) Aug 03 21:21:46 * ChanServ gives channel half-operator status to ProcyonLotor Aug 03 21:22:01 Hammerhead: You, as the writer, and the reader have inherently different perspectives. Aug 03 21:22:10 * Nuke_Fury has quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client) Aug 03 21:22:10 As the author, of course you are invested in your work. Aug 03 21:22:11 I plan on the story being played out through exploration logs. Aug 03 21:22:18 Your readers do not necessarily share those investments. Aug 03 21:22:23 Yeah, what Zyn said there is sort of important. The reader *doesn't know there's a story coming*. Aug 03 21:22:27 They can and will stop reading mid-way if they get bored. Aug 03 21:22:40 They only know what's on the page. What they're reading. Aug 03 21:22:41 Exactly Aug 03 21:22:42 They do not know what you have planned Aug 03 21:22:54 and expecting them to assume that something better is coming usually doesn't work out. Aug 03 21:23:02 tbh I would've stopped reading mid-page. Aug 03 21:23:16 * ProcyonGone has quit (Ping timeout: 180 seconds) Aug 03 21:23:23 Which is what I'm really asking for critiques now, before the story. Aug 03 21:23:33 Lol Aug 03 21:23:33 dude Aug 03 21:23:35 Why I'm* Aug 03 21:23:55 This is not interesting. Aug 03 21:23:59 It might be, with the story. Aug 03 21:24:07 Why are you giving us the barebones, not interesting stuff first? Aug 03 21:24:16 Like, there's no rush to contribute or anything Aug 03 21:24:27 If you have this awesome story planned out Aug 03 21:24:28 write that Aug 03 21:24:28 I wanna make the barebones interesting. Aug 03 21:24:32 that's what your reader wants Aug 03 21:24:38 Hammerhead: Then write that story. Aug 03 21:24:40 Hammerhead: This is the critique you're getting. Aug 03 21:24:56 Barebones, by definition, usually isn't interesting enough to carry an article on its own nowadays Aug 03 21:25:03 especially given that we've got, what Aug 03 21:25:06 2600+ articles? Aug 03 21:25:13 Man, 3000 contest's just around the corner Aug 03 21:25:20 closer to 2700 now Aug 03 21:25:23 But yeah. Barebones is what the SCP is and does. Aug 03 21:25:23 if not over Aug 03 21:25:25 Thank you Cimmy. Aug 03 21:25:38 Hammerhead: Your reader will want to see more. Aug 03 21:25:43 Give them that. Aug 03 21:26:16 The idea of grabbing the reader is to grab the reader. Not let them waltz in and out without noticing what's up. Aug 03 21:27:55 Yeah, I plan on writing more, but this I'm asking for the critique on is the hook, the part that gets them interested. AnakinSpecter said he would have stopped reading before the story began, so I assume it needs work as a hook. Aug 03 21:28:13 ok Aug 03 21:28:15 Let me be clear. Aug 03 21:28:30 Or would trimming out the fat be the main thing there? Aug 03 21:28:59 You do not have a hook. Nothing in this story grabs the reader and makes them pay attention. You are missing a hook. You are hookless. It's like Peter Pan without Dustin Hoffman. Aug 03 21:29:05 both Aug 03 21:29:28 Okay. Aug 03 21:29:44 dustin hoffman played captain hook?! Aug 03 21:29:47 Jason Isaac was a better Captain Hook in my opinion Aug 03 21:29:52 yeah in Hook Aug 03 21:30:02 MrAnakinSpecter: In the movie "Hook" where Peter Pan grew up and got all lame Aug 03 21:30:45 * Disconnected (No such device or address) **** ENDING LOGGING AT Mon Aug 03 21:30:45 2015 **** BEGIN LOGGING AT Mon Aug 03 21:31:05 2015 Aug 03 21:31:05 * Now talking on #site17 Aug 03 21:31:05 * Topic for #site17 is: A place to chat with SCP Foundation staff, and to get your stuff critiqued if you're a site member! General chat in #site19 - unless staff are involved. | Ask for an admin if you want your app looked at. PLEASE GIVE US A FEW MINUTES TO RESPOND! Aug 03 21:31:05 * Topic for #site17 set by Eskobear (Fri Apr 03 11:10:48 2015) Aug 03 21:31:05 * ChanServ gives channel half-operator status to ProcyonPing Aug 03 21:31:35 Anyway Aug 03 21:31:42 But anyways, are you guys saying I should tease a bit of the story early on in the description? Because I was specifically avoiding that, for fear of spoiling the bulk of the story. Aug 03 21:31:43 Hammerhead: We would like to see the story you have planned for this. Aug 03 21:31:48 * MrWrong (Mibbit@A5296B79.2773388E.648D858D.IP) has joined Aug 03 21:31:52 * MrWrong (Mibbit@A5296B79.2773388E.648D858D.IP) has left Aug 03 21:31:53 Hammerhead: We would like you to finish the draft. Aug 03 21:32:00 Hammerhead: You need to have your object description be in service of your story. Aug 03 21:32:05 It's not two seperate concepts. Aug 03 21:32:08 > Because I was specifically avoiding that, for fear of spoiling the bulk of the story. Aug 03 21:32:14 We've got no clue there's a story to begin with. Aug 03 21:32:18 How could we be spoiled? Aug 03 21:32:23 Also, like... people are going to read this anyway Aug 03 21:32:40 if you don't tell people in the draft stage what you have planned, then no one's going to know how to give you decent feedback Aug 03 21:33:13 or they'll think you are constantly making new stuff up to just to appeal to them Aug 03 21:33:22 * ProcyonLotor has quit (Ping timeout: 181 seconds) Aug 03 21:33:37 Also, if there's anyone you want to spoil things for, it's your editors. Aug 03 21:33:47 How else will you find out if the story is workable? Aug 03 21:34:56 Well, the story is that this guy is imprisoned inside this box, and the locations are little scenes forever playing on a loop, memories for his life, the last remnants of his universe, which he destroyed, and the exploration logs tell his story out of chronological order, about how he destroyed his home. Aug 03 21:35:09 I was hoping for it to be a sad story. Aug 03 21:35:21 that's an obvious direction to take it Aug 03 21:35:32 sounds like Old Man from Nowhere in a box Aug 03 21:35:32 ... Aug 03 21:35:40 what was the old man again? Aug 03 21:35:42 1410? Aug 03 21:35:44 SCP-1410 Aug 03 21:35:45 Zyn: SCP-1410 (Sweating Stone, Written by Dmatix, Rating:+35) - http://scp-wiki.net/scp-1410 Aug 03 21:35:48 no Aug 03 21:35:51 not even close Aug 03 21:35:53 Uhhh Aug 03 21:35:54 Sad is hard to pull off properly. Aug 03 21:36:00 .sea old man from nowhere Aug 03 21:36:01 Zyn: The Old Man from Nowhere(SCP-1440, Rating:426) - http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1440 Aug 03 21:36:04 Especially when we can see it coming. Aug 03 21:36:41 (that's an ironic thing for me to say given my last outing, but I digress) Aug 03 21:36:53 The last exploration log is meant to be the reveal that it was him destroying the reality. Aug 03 21:37:40 tbh this doesn't really mean anything if it isn't in a narrative. It's easy to say "this will be the best thing ever" but difficult to write the best thing ever. Aug 03 21:38:01 Zyn's said this a couple times now but I'll reiterate. You should write a complete draft. Aug 03 21:38:10 Get all of it done as a first draft, and then see how it looks. Aug 03 21:38:18 If you want to do brainstorming that's one thing. Aug 03 21:38:26 But we can't do draft review easily on an incomplete draft. Aug 03 21:39:26 * Bouncl (Bouncl@Bounce.Bounce.Bounce) has joined Aug 03 21:39:26 * ChanServ gives channel half-operator status to Bouncl Aug 03 21:39:29 We're chasing our tails here. Giving you general advice when we could be giving you specific advice on a finished first draft. Aug 03 21:39:31 Hmmm, 1440 does seem quite similar to this idea Aug 03 21:39:44 So make 'er different! Aug 03 21:39:53 That's concerning Aug 03 21:40:21 I have to reconsider him a bit. Aug 03 21:40:35 I'll type up the exploration logs, then. Aug 03 21:40:39 * Wogglebug has quit (Quit: ...) Aug 03 21:41:04 good luck Aug 03 21:41:12 (: Aug 03 21:41:18 yup Aug 03 21:41:22 Thank you all for the advice, I sincerely appreciate it, and I feel as though I've made progress. Aug 03 21:41:26 good luck with your draft! Aug 03 21:42:07 (I'll be back in here later, but I can't work on my draft and be in here at the same time, unfortunately. ----- Aug 04 02:19:59 Alright, Hammerhead Aug 04 02:20:05 Go ahead and throw me it Aug 04 02:21:51 Ah, that was faster than I expected. Aug 04 02:21:56 http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/hammerh tab 2 Aug 04 02:22:02 Pchoooo Aug 04 02:22:03 Okay Aug 04 02:22:39 Do you want it here or nah? Aug 04 02:22:40 * Hammerhead is so excited. He doesn't think EldritchCyanide has actually critiqued any of his drafts to date Aug 04 02:23:05 Hehe, what, am I a celebrity now? : P Aug 04 02:23:06 Go ahead at your own preference. Aug 04 02:23:26 Alright, lemme read Aug 04 02:23:50 Don't know, but there have been multiple times where you're all "I'll review it later" and you never do. Aug 04 02:23:57 Ah, shit Aug 04 02:24:34 If that happens, prod me in pms ... Aug 04 02:25:17 Because I get a good amount of requests and have a bad memory ^^; Aug 04 02:26:05 I am?!! Aug 04 02:26:09 * Hammerhead faints Aug 04 02:26:43 I am pretty sure we are all terribly confused right now <_> Aug 04 02:28:01 Hammerhead: Also, if I said I would and someone else gets you, I tend to assume you're fine and move on unless you request otherwise : P ... ... Aug 04 02:28:46 Hammerhead: Space between the Item and Object Class lines Aug 04 02:28:58 She is (she, right?) Aug 04 02:29:11 She is fine Aug 04 02:29:18 Thank you : ) Aug 04 02:29:31 "measuring 1.8m by 1.8m by 5.4m." We don't need this information Aug 04 02:29:39 I always miss that line, thans. Aug 04 02:30:34 "29km by 29km by 87km." This information is iffy. I don't like the usage of measurements here, but I can't... I'll think on it and see if I can pull up a better way to do it. Aug 04 02:31:26 Okay, I got a criticism on that before, but I think it is important. If you have suggestions, though, I'm open to them. Aug 04 02:31:38 "When an opening into SCP-XXXX is formed" ... like when someone drills a hole, or opens the box, or...? Aug 04 02:31:59 Well, generally, if more than one person says it, it's really something you should consider. Aug 04 02:32:28 There are better ways to say "bigger on the inside", I'm sure of it. It's just 3:32 am and I can't think of them right now : P Aug 04 02:32:46 Well, the box doesn't have a door, so generally the way of getting inside is by removing one or more planks of wood. Aug 04 02:33:13 " the corresponding opening on the interior of the item maintains the same size relative to objects passing through it, and is located in the corresponding wall, at ground level, and midway along the length of the wall." I especially do not know what this means Aug 04 02:33:34 Really? Aug 04 02:33:35 Okay, lemme see if I can break that down Aug 04 02:34:06 Like, if an item that is half the size of the opening from the outside goes through Aug 04 02:34:21 It will remain half the size of the opening when it goes in Aug 04 02:34:41 Good so far? Aug 04 02:34:46 Yeah Aug 04 02:35:24 The next part is ambiguous Aug 04 02:35:49 And probably, once fixed up, can be made into its own sentence Aug 04 02:36:17 Is the item located in the bottom middle of the wall? Aug 04 02:36:21 Is the opening? Aug 04 02:36:34 Yes Aug 04 02:36:45 Is the Monte Carlo Museum of Natural History? Aug 04 02:37:10 You just said yes to two things >_< Aug 04 02:37:32 So, if you removed all planks of wood on one side of the crate, for example, it would only form a small opening at the middle bottom of the interior wall. Aug 04 02:37:32 that museum does not exist Aug 04 02:37:49 ProcyonLotor: Shhhh Aug 04 02:37:59 (also most of the time when people say Monte Carlo they actually mean Monaco jsyk) Aug 04 02:38:01 Hammerhead: That isn't what I got at all. Aug 04 02:38:28 ProcyonLotor: I basically picked a random assortment of words and stuck them together so ._. Aug 04 02:38:52 F-- see me after class Aug 04 02:38:59 ;-; Aug 04 02:39:11 Okay, then how would you phrase it? (And a man walking through it would turn around and see a door the same size as the door they walk through.) Aug 04 02:39:54 * Disconnected (Connection reset by peer) **** ENDING LOGGING AT Tue Aug 04 02:39:54 2015 **** BEGIN LOGGING AT Tue Aug 04 02:40:12 2015 Aug 04 02:40:12 * Now talking on #site17 Aug 04 02:40:12 * Topic for #site17 is: A place to chat with SCP Foundation staff, and to get your stuff critiqued if you're a site member! General chat in #site19 - unless staff are involved. | Ask for an admin if you want your app looked at. PLEASE GIVE US A FEW MINUTES TO RESPOND! Aug 04 02:40:12 * Topic for #site17 set by Eskobear (Fri Apr 03 11:10:48 2015) Aug 04 02:40:12 * ChanServ gives channel half-operator status to ProcyonPing Aug 04 02:41:45 I'm not sure, seeing as I'm still not certain what you're trying to convey. Aug 04 02:42:10 * ProcyonLotor has quit (Ping timeout: 183 seconds) Aug 04 02:42:17 So, you know the TARDIS? Aug 04 02:42:56 * Disconnected (Connection reset by peer) **** ENDING LOGGING AT Tue Aug 04 02:42:56 2015 **** BEGIN LOGGING AT Tue Aug 04 02:43:25 2015 Aug 04 02:43:25 * Now talking on #site17 Aug 04 02:43:25 * Topic for #site17 is: A place to chat with SCP Foundation staff, and to get your stuff critiqued if you're a site member! General chat in #site19 - unless staff are involved. | Ask for an admin if you want your app looked at. PLEASE GIVE US A FEW MINUTES TO RESPOND! Aug 04 02:43:25 * Topic for #site17 set by Eskobear (Fri Apr 03 11:10:48 2015) Aug 04 02:43:25 * ChanServ gives channel half-operator status to ProcyonGone Aug 04 02:44:28 * ProcyonPing has quit (NickServ (GHOST command used by ProcyonGone)) Aug 04 02:44:28 It's like the door to it, where it's the same size on the inside or the outside, relative to the guy who steps through it. Aug 04 02:44:32 * You are now known as ProcyonPing Aug 04 02:45:30 So it only creates a small opening, but going through it results in a door of the same size as the one someone went through originally Aug 04 02:45:32 But in this one, you can make new doors, so I specified that they always appear in the bottom middle of the corresponding interior wall. Aug 04 02:46:29 But you just said there aren't any other openings Aug 04 02:46:36 And that's why someone has to make them? Aug 04 02:46:48 So, if a hole 1 meter tall is created and you step through it, turn around, and look at the hole, it will still be 1 meter tall, but now in a towering expanse of wood. Aug 04 02:47:52 * Disconnected (Connection reset by peer) **** ENDING LOGGING AT Tue Aug 04 02:47:52 2015 **** BEGIN LOGGING AT Tue Aug 04 02:48:12 2015 Aug 04 02:48:12 * Now talking on #site17 Aug 04 02:48:12 * Topic for #site17 is: A place to chat with SCP Foundation staff, and to get your stuff critiqued if you're a site member! General chat in #site19 - unless staff are involved. | Ask for an admin if you want your app looked at. PLEASE GIVE US A FEW MINUTES TO RESPOND! Aug 04 02:48:12 * Topic for #site17 set by Eskobear (Fri Apr 03 11:10:48 2015) Aug 04 02:48:12 * ChanServ gives channel half-operator status to ProcyonGone Aug 04 02:48:28 You are having to spend way too long explaining the /door/ Aug 04 02:48:54 You're the first to state that it's difficult to understand. Aug 04 02:49:14 Suffice to say that you have to make your own door, but you can get inside. Aug 04 02:49:22 Yes. I got that part. Aug 04 02:49:50 Okay. Let's see. Aug 04 02:50:02 * ProcyonPing has quit (Ping timeout: 180 seconds) Aug 04 02:50:18 Try cutting out the part where you mention that the opening forms in the middle bottom. Aug 04 02:50:47 It's unnecessary regardless Aug 04 02:51:35 I would wonder where the door forms of I was reading this. Aug 04 02:52:05 There are some things you can leave open to reader interpretation. Aug 04 02:52:28 Not /everything/ has to make it into the main article. Aug 04 02:53:02 Alright, I'll consider that. Aug 04 02:53:32 "Openings in multiple walls can exist at the same time, and it has been established that they will all lead into the same interior space." Aug 04 02:53:56 Good general rule of thumb: If it does what you expect it to, you don't need to mention it. Aug 04 02:54:25 Alright Aug 04 02:54:57 "Attempts to create an opening in the ceiling or floor of the crate or a single opening which spans across two exterior walls have failed," this is an example, though I feel like it could be said better as well Aug 04 02:55:10 "as particular beams exhibit exceedingly high hardness and structural strength." ???? Aug 04 02:55:55 * Lily has quit (Connection reset by peer) Aug 04 02:56:22 Hardness as in "can't be cut" and structural strength as in "can't be pulled apart, torqued, or anything else" Aug 04 02:56:26 I... which beams? Aug 04 02:56:39 You mashed two different things into one sentence. Aug 04 02:57:23 Okay, the beams that make up the frame, floor, and ceiling. Aug 04 02:58:19 Yeah, that sentence could use rewriting. Aug 04 02:59:17 I can see what you're going for, but it's... really confusing. Aug 04 03:00:52 I think that might be due to you being tired. No one else has been been commenting on it being confusing so far. Aug 04 03:01:52 * Disconnected (Connection reset by peer) **** ENDING LOGGING AT Tue Aug 04 03:01:52 2015 **** BEGIN LOGGING AT Tue Aug 04 03:02:10 2015 Aug 04 03:02:10 * Now talking on #site17 Aug 04 03:02:10 * Topic for #site17 is: A place to chat with SCP Foundation staff, and to get your stuff critiqued if you're a site member! General chat in #site19 - unless staff are involved. | Ask for an admin if you want your app looked at. PLEASE GIVE US A FEW MINUTES TO RESPOND! Aug 04 03:02:10 * Topic for #site17 set by Eskobear (Fri Apr 03 11:10:48 2015) Aug 04 03:02:10 * ChanServ gives channel half-operator status to ProcyonPing Aug 04 03:03:32 "1.8m by 1.8m by 5.4m" since you said its important earlier Aug 04 03:03:37 whats the significance of this to your article? Aug 04 03:04:12 * ProcyonGone has quit (Ping timeout: 185 seconds) Aug 04 03:05:13 It gives a clear scale to the crate. If I just say "it's larger in the inside", people could assume anything, from it being a tiny box containing a universe to whatever else. Aug 04 03:06:18 * thedeadlymoose has quit (Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.91.1 [Firefox 39.0/20150630154324]) Aug 04 03:06:38 sure, fine. then i'll suggest something here; since crates come in all shapes and sizes and theres no "common" size, suggesting a size like that is immensely difficult, especially given... well, do you know how tall something 5.4 meters is? Aug 04 03:07:14 at 5.4 meters it's more of an "upturned cargo container" or "weirdly proportioned shack" than a crate Aug 04 03:07:30 Yeah, but it's set up on it's side. Aug 04 03:07:48 have you ever seen a crate that's ~18 feet Aug 04 03:07:51 that's one bigass crate Aug 04 03:08:02 So, 1.8 tall Aug 04 03:08:22 wait lemme try and visualize this Aug 04 03:08:24 like Aug 04 03:08:27 when I think crate Aug 04 03:08:34 I generally think pretty much a meter per side tops Aug 04 03:08:36 so when you say its 1.8 x 1.8 x 5.4 ... Aug 04 03:08:37 maybe two Aug 04 03:08:41 the 5.4 is referring to its height? Aug 04 03:08:53 No, 5.4 is length Aug 04 03:09:05 Wait, really? Aug 04 03:09:09 urgh Aug 04 03:09:11 ok so Aug 04 03:09:14 Wow I was seeing that wrong Aug 04 03:09:19 its... Aug 04 03:09:25 ok, you know, this actually ties into my point Aug 04 03:09:32 people will not easily visualize this with the numbers you use Aug 04 03:09:41 theyll think "wow, numbers", and gloss right over it or not know what youre talking about Aug 04 03:09:49 either use more round numbers Aug 04 03:09:51 or use smaller numbers Aug 04 03:09:58 https://packingservice.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/84-cases-001.jpg Aug 04 03:10:15 yeah Aug 04 03:10:19 that doesn't approach 18 feet Aug 04 03:10:30 nine, maybe Aug 04 03:10:35 My intended image, waiting on reply from Roget concerning image policy. Aug 04 03:10:37 You and I had very different images there <_> Aug 04 03:11:05 eighteen feet is uh Aug 04 03:11:24 I can change the length then, jeez. Aug 04 03:11:29 no, look Aug 04 03:12:08 my point is that the numbers need to be changed to make the reader better visualize, so like here Aug 04 03:12:11 if you include this image Aug 04 03:12:18 you dont even need to list its dimensions Aug 04 03:12:19 * Deci|AFK moves on Aug 04 03:12:20 Don't get offended when you act //exceedingly difficult// and then we have to fight you on basic things Aug 04 03:13:13 ._. Aug 04 03:13:36 "This crate contains a disproportionately large space measuring approximately 29km by 29km by 87km." The crate, not this (minor tone thing) Aug 04 03:13:59 Okay, good catch. Aug 04 03:14:44 * You are now known as ProcyonGone Aug 04 03:14:44 * services.synirc.net sets mode +r on ProcyonGone Aug 04 03:15:28 "When an opening into SCP-XXXX is formed, the corresponding opening on the interior of the item maintains the same size relative to objects passing through it, and is located in the corresponding wall, at ground level, and midway along the length of the wall." this is a run-on. you need to break this up into two different sentences and cut a bit of wording. "When an opening into SCP-XXXX is Aug 04 03:15:28 formed, the corresponding opening on the interior maintains the same size relative to objects passing through it. The opening is located in the corresponding wall at ground level, midway along the length of the wall." Aug 04 03:15:35 now Aug 04 03:15:41 the reason why is because it was so unclear Aug 04 03:15:46 i had to read it over a few times Aug 04 03:16:14 i only get what youre talking about as far as "you make an opening, and theres an opening on the other side" but theres so much detail im not sure what youre referring to exactly Aug 04 03:16:42 like, does the opening change depending on the objects going through? or is it the same size as the original opening? in which case, why the extra details? Aug 04 03:18:06 I'm not sure I follow the questions, but a 1 meter tall hole is 1 meter tall on both sides. Now what extra detail are you referring to? Aug 04 03:18:34 alright, so for example Aug 04 03:19:51 "When an opening into SCP-XXXX is formed, the corresponding opening on the interior of the item maintains the same size relative to objects passing through it" according to this, when you make an opening to get into SCP-XXXX the "corresponding opening" (which i already get thrown off by) maintains the same size "relative to objects passing through it". this means that even though the opening Aug 04 03:19:51 on the outside remains static, on the inside, it changes depending on the size of the object coming through Aug 04 03:20:00 i don't get the impression that it's just a 1 meter tall hall on both sides Aug 04 03:20:25 * Lily has quit (Ping timeout: 180 seconds) Aug 04 03:20:33 and to continue Aug 04 03:21:02 "and is located in the corresponding wall, at ground level, and midway along the length of the wall." i assume the corresponding wall meaning the wall the hole was made in. so what does ground level or "midwat along the length of the wall" mean?? Aug 04 03:21:33 Well, the size of the hole could remain the same as relative to the crate, so someone on the inside would see an opening 16,100 times larger. Aug 04 03:22:26 * Lily (~JamJam66@flower.power) has joined Aug 04 03:22:38 ok. so in that case Aug 04 03:22:39 If you have a 1 meter hole appear on a kilometers long expanse of wood, where is it? Aug 04 03:22:47 uh Aug 04 03:23:17 I described it as being flush with the floor and uniformly in the center of the walL Aug 04 03:23:32 no matter where the hole is being made? Aug 04 03:23:51 Yes. Aug 04 03:24:20 * Crayne has quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client) Aug 04 03:25:09 so... if you make a hole in the top of the crate thats 1 meter wide. there will be a 1 meter hole on... a wall? right in the center of it? and it'll appear as 1 meter as well? Aug 04 03:25:38 You can't make a hole in the top Aug 04 03:25:44 Or the bottom Aug 04 03:25:57 Yeah, I covered my tail on that one. Aug 04 03:26:01 oh Aug 04 03:26:08 i didnt even think of that because i was still trying to decipher that one sentence Aug 04 03:26:21 ok so Aug 04 03:26:29 Although I question whether that's relative to which side is hitting the ground Aug 04 03:26:58 I thought about that, EldritchCyanide, but decided to not go there. Aug 04 03:27:02 if you make a hole on the right side of the crate, thats 1 meter wide/tall, there will be a 1 meter hole on the other side, in the center of the other side? and itll appear as 1 meter? Aug 04 03:27:05 ???? Aug 04 03:27:22 Yes Aug 04 03:27:49 so then why would someone on the side see an opening 16k times larger? Aug 04 03:27:59 I'll be honest, this whole paragraph is just immensely confusing. We've spent over half an hour trying to piece this together, even with your extra explanation. Aug 04 03:28:46 If I had said that the opening remains the same size relative to the crate, that's what it would mean. Aug 04 03:28:48 Please figure out a way to rewrite or scrap, respective to the parts which need them. Aug 04 03:29:23 * Freudian (Ian@hogmail.clom) has joined Aug 04 03:29:27 ok so Aug 04 03:29:52 wait but Aug 04 03:30:00 if the opening remains the same size relative to the crate Aug 04 03:30:13 i still dont know why anyone in the crate would see the opening as 16k times bigger Aug 04 03:30:14 IT Doesn't Aug 04 03:30:18 ...wait Aug 04 03:30:21 huh? Aug 04 03:30:30 ????? Aug 04 03:30:48 I was giving that as an example of another way it could be explained. Aug 04 03:31:07 * Kestin (i.am.prob@bly.procrastinating) has joined Aug 04 03:31:08 Or, rather Aug 04 03:31:34 A way I could have decided the crate to function* Aug 04 03:32:05 Te interior is 16,100 scale the dimensions of the exterior. ... Aug 04 03:32:34 ok so uh ... Aug 04 03:33:02 * PossessedInkieShark (~chatzilla@720B82F0.82734BF6.D4A435E1.IP) has joined Aug 04 03:33:07 "When an opening into SCP-XXXX is formed, the corresponding opening on the interior of the item maintains the same size relative to objects passing through it, and is located in the corresponding wall, at ground level, and midway along the length of the wall." rereading this Aug 04 03:33:23 none of this makes sense because theres so much detail to describe it, and its a run-on too. so Aug 04 03:33:29 Is you were to remove 50% of the wood of one wall and go inside, and 50% of said interior wall is missing, then it's a hole 16,100 times as large. Aug 04 03:34:17 What you guys seem to misunderstand is the term "relative" Aug 04 03:34:36 It is an important term Aug 04 03:34:39 .def relative Aug 04 03:34:40 EldritchCyanide: relative: adjective: 1. Relevant; pertinent. 2. Connected to or depending on something else; not absolute; comparative. noun: Someone in the same family; someone connected by blood, marriage, or adoption. Aug 04 03:34:44 i mean Aug 04 03:34:46 Nah, pretty sure I got this. Aug 04 03:34:48 i know what relative means Aug 04 03:34:53