"Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them."

"What do the japanese have in common with @howardstern? They're both radio active."

"Japan had put out this urgent plea...." PLEASE SEND US A FEW BIlLION RUBBER DUCKIES!!!!!"

"Japan called me. They said "maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they're all sinking."

"I fu**** a girl in japan. She screamed "I feel the earth move and I'm getting wet."

"My book #rubberBallsAndLiquor was released in japan. It's making quite a splash."

"What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights."

"I asked a girl in Japan to have sex with me. She said "okay, but you'll have to sleep in the wet spot.""

"What do Japanese Jews like to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami."

"I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said "is there a school in this area." She said "not now, but just wait.""

"My Japanese doctor advised me to stay healthy I need 50 million gallons of water a day."

"I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, "They'll be another one floating by any minute now.""