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Submitted by cummy on November 17, 2021

CAPTAIN AMERICA - tells Falcon, "I fought Nazis once before. They're extremely dangerous." They then see the guy scaling the Capitol wall fall into the shrubs. Falcon: "You sure these are the same Nazis?" 

IRON MAN - lands by the guy carrying the podium. Says, "Mind if I borrow this?" then tosses it to Hulk, who swings it like a bat at the mob. Guy: "Hey, that's MY podium!" Iron Man: "Actually it's the Speaker's. And technically, it's a lectern." Then punches him through a wall.

BLACK WIDOW - enters hotel room where Jack Dorsey is tied up. Rips duct tape off his mouth. Jack: "I'll do anything you want!" BW: "Disable POTUS's Twitter. NOW!" Jack fumbles with his phone. "Done. Anything else?" BW: "Yeah. Trim your beard for God's sake." \*tosses him clippers\*

HULK - grabs a selfie stick from one of the guys and beats him over the head with it. Deeming it too small, he grabs another guy's Confederate flag and takes out a whole swath of rioters. He then tosses the flag to Cap, who uses it as a javelin to impale a fleeing Ted Cruz.

HAWKEYE - hears Iron Man in his earpiece say, "Looks like Orange Julius is tweeting from another account." Hawkeye: "On it." He locks in on Trump through the White House window and fires an arrow, knocking the phone out of Trump's hands. Hawkeye: "Damn that felt good." 

THOR - comes face to face with the Viking guy. Says defensively, "Pfft. What a stupid outfit." Star-Lord: "He's dressed exactly like you." Thor: "Heh, not likely. I don't wear...rabbit hats." Rocket: "It's a raccoon." Thor: "Whatever. The point is - I do NOT look like him."  Just then, Drax approaches the Viking Guy and casually says, "Hey Thor." Star-Lord shoots Thor a "Told ya so" look. Groot whispers "I am Groot" to Rocket and they both laugh. Thor angrily wields Stormbreaker, and Viking Guy runs off, calling for his mom. 

DR. STRANGE - sees Josh Hawley running down the Capitol hall. Strange opens a time portal and Hawley runs straight into it. We see Hawley tumble out into the year 1984. Wong: "Now \*that\* is Orwellian." Strange: "No, it's not—has \*anyone\* actually read that book?" 

SPIDER-MAN - hears Iron Man in his ear say, “Zip-Tie Guy at 3 o’clock. Why don’t you show him how it’s done, kid?” Peter swings across the Rotunda and spots him. He shoots webs around the guy's hands and ankles, hog-tying him. Then joins the rest of his class on their field trip.

BLACK PANTHER - as rioters chant "Let us in!" at the Capitol door, they're suddenly drowned out by a louder "Yibambe!" chant led by T'Challa. When the two groups converge, one white woman asks if the Jabari "have a permit," and another accuses M'Baku of stealing her cellphone.

 WINTER SOLDIER - While easily fending off a mob, Captain America says, "I actually \*can\* do this all day." He then spots Bucky Barnes amongst the rioters, wearing a QAnon shirt. Cap says, "Oh no. He got brainwashed again."

ANT-MAN - he's tasked with leading the members of Congress out of the fray. He shrinks down and lands in Mike Pence's hair to direct him and the others to safety. A photo of this goes viral, as people think the Debate Fly returned.

CAPTAIN MARVEL - The Squad confronts the guy in Pelosi's office and demands he give back her mail, "or we'll take it back." Guy: "You and what army?" Then, Captain Marvel, Gamora, Scarlet Witch, Valkyrie, and every other female MCU character descend into the room one by one.

THANOS - sends out a tweet distancing himself from Trump.

/uj [Source](https://twitter.com/sockdeluxe/status/1454484306794012673?s=20)