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Submitted by cummy on January 14, 2022

So.. School was canceled today because of the weather. My daughter is 17 and she’s a senior. Her boyfriend is like 17 or 18 I’m pretty sure and he’s also a senior. My daughter has anxiety and when she was 13, we built a treehouse for her. Only she goes in it. It’s her space to cool down or be alone, especially since we have 4 younger kids and at her age she wants privacy. Two hours ago I was looking for my daughter because she wasn’t in the house. Usually she texts me if she’s in the treehouse but I didn’t get a text so I was worried. So I went out to our backyard and started approaching the tree house. I get halfway up the stairs and see her and her boyfriend going at it. I walked back down but yelled up to them. It got awkwardly silent and then I heard a lot of movement- i assume they were putting their clothes back on. They came out and the three of us stood there awkwardly. I told her boyfriend I liked his hair. He said thanks. I nodded. He nodded. We looked away awkwardly. I asked them if they were using a condom. They said yes. I said “Good, now go home or come inside, how are y’all even ignoring this weather?” After that we went inside. I kept my distance from them because I am temporarily traumatized. (But to be fair, my wife and I caused our daughter to feel the same way a couple months ago when she walked in on us. So I guess it’s equal now).

Later that night, I said this to my daughter:

"Alright so you're sexually active. You're 17, using condoms, so I'm not sure what if anything I need to explain to you about sex and I'm kinda like not about sitting you down and doing sex ed from scratch and making you feel awkward as I explain things you already know for an hour, so I'm going to invite you to ask me any questions you can think up and are willing to ask and I will do my best to answer. You're making adult decisions, so you can consider me an adult resource. You have to choose to come for help, but if you do, I will help however I can.

You do however need to start seeing a gynecologist, we should talk to your mom about that, once sexually active you need to have a checkup at least once a year. You can talk to them about birth control options if you would like to have an additional layer of protection besides just condoms. If you want birth control, I'll pay for whatever it is. If you ever feel you need the morning after pill \*and you can't afford it yourself because it is your responsibility first to pay for such things\* come to me and I'll buy you one. Need an STD test at a clinic? Such things are routine,, I am not going to assume you have something, and you should probably get an STD panel once a year no matter what. Ask if you need it, I won't ask questions, I'll just drop you off and pick you up to get it done and shell out the money for it."