Today while shitting in the school bathroom I   realized Allah was in the stall next to mine. he was already weakened and I had a fat dump at the ready, but I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

I first tried to incapacitate him to get the upper hand, I ripped the most abysmal, profane, unholy smelling shit I could muster from grinding xp from the 239th time people clogged the toilets with food this year. The scent wafted throughout the hallways and was so excruciating it forced the quiet kid to stop the shooting in progress. 97% of the school projectile vomited and with an ability I unlocked, I accreted all the foul waste and redirected it to Allah, who got hit by 2.8 metric tons of that diabolical shit.

He is so fucking powerful. I’m not powerful enough to do it alone. I barely made it out with my life and had to use up all my lunch. His halal jizz exerted 27,502 psi on me and he clogged up all the urinals all the way to the water treatment facility; the stench alone is still causing casualties as I write this. I’m pretty beat up but I’ll be fine.

I can’t imagine what he would do to a new, unsuspecting student with a loose hole. I’m scared I will have to face him again if I want to keep using the school bathroom. I’m currently using the 50 degree ice pack the nurse gave me to heal as quickly as possible.

Please be safe everyone. Allah is much stronger than I first imagined and we will have to do this together if we want to bukkake this god.