I hadn't seen my girlfriend in a few weeks. She's been busy with life and I've been working stupid hours. Earlier today she came over, we made tea and proceeded with the love making.

Previously she had bought me "cruelty free made-by-women eco friendly non-latex super condoms", her words, not mine.

So after we had finished our romantic escapade, I freaked the fuck out because I thought the condom might have a hole in it. So I figured there was only one way to confirm this, which was to fill it full of water like some sort of sick, perverted water balloon.

She finds this hilarious and joins me in the bathroom as I proceed to wrap the tip of this Cruelty-Free Made-By-Women Eco-Friendly Non-Latex Super Condom around the faucet of my bathroom sink and fill it up.

As I gazed into this horrific snowglobe of lumpy spunk, swimming around aimlessly through this fancy pansty super condom, I quickly realized, there was no hole.

Only after I filled this atrosity to the very brim, did I realize the repurcussions of my actions. My girlfriend watched in terror as this translucent pandora's box of would-be children quickly turned into an opaque balloon of jizz.

The balloon fucking popped and shot jizz all over my bathroom. On the walls, the ceiling, my eyes, her eyes. We didn't know to do. She nearly started crying.

TL;DR - Had sex, thought the condom had a hole in it, filled it with water and watched as my bathroom was coated in jizz-water.