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Submitted by cummy on January 15, 2022

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(JoJo Part 4 related, also very dumb) (Text)

1 
Imagine, if you will... Kira confronts Okuyasu... “Killer Queen!” Kira shouts, as his stand materializes, then Okuyasu responds in kind. “The Hand!” Kira gazes upon the massive right hand of the stand, and as was the case once he gazed upon the Mona Lisa for the very first time, he got an erection. Okuyasu noticed the bulge coming from Kira’s slacks, and was naturally bewildered at what he was seeing. “Dude, are you getting turned on by my stand? What the hell dude!?” Okuyasu shouted. “I’m sorry, it’s just... the right hand of your stand is filling me with the greatest sense of ecstasy...” Kira says, unbuttoning his pants. “You freaky weirdo! The Hand, take this creeper out!” Okuyasu exclaims. The Hand moves forward, but it doesn’t attack Kira as Okuyasu had instructed. “What’s the matter with you!? I said attack him!” The Hand doesn’t budge. Kira manages to tear his pants off, revealing his throbbing schmeater. Kira looked into The Hand’s eyes and they seemed to come to an understanding. Without any words between the two, The Hand grabbed hold of Kira’s beef and started giving it the jerky. “What the fuck!?” Okuyasu exclaimed, horrified. “Oh, that’s it... your hand is perfect, so large and complex... oh God, I’m going to-“ With that vocal queue from Kira, The Hand immediately tightened its grip, erasing everything that was in its grasp. Kira cried out in pain, even as the dopamine flooded to his brain, he laid on the ground in agony for a few moments as Okuyasu looked on in disbelief. “I can’t take it, Killer Queen, end my suffering!” Obediently, Killer Queen transformed a strand of Kira’s hair into a bomb. “I’ll see you in Hell!” \*click* Yoshikage Kira was no more. As it turns out, The Hand was following instructions perfectly, but had a more convoluted plan than Okuyasu could ever come up with. Josuke arrived on the scene moments later. “Okuyasu! Where’s that bastard Kira, huh!? I’ve been getting the itch to really lay into him!” He shouted. “I uhh... think I’m gonna go join my bro...” Okuyasu said, still horrified by what he had witnessed. “Huh? What are you talking about Okuyasu?” Okuyasu snapped back to reality and finally noticed Josuke standing there. “Oi Josuke, I used the power of The Hand to jerk off Kira and then erased his dick right as he was about to bust so he’d kill himself, and now I wanna do the same. Ain’t that just wacky?” Okuyasu then walks off and goes back home, never to see anyone again. [End of Part 4]