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Submitted by cummy on January 3, 2022

The day before Christmas I was taking a shower and my wife said she got something cute and left it on the bed for me to look at. Once I got out of the shower, she went in. I went into the bedroom to check it out and realized it was something for ME. I said ok, I’m down let’s try this on. It was, what I thought anyway, something like Victoria’s Secret underwear for me but crocheted. Weird flex, but ok, I’m down. I try putting it on in the way I thought it should go on but realized it wasn’t big enough to go around my waist. Ok. Maybe it’s like a sock a la Red Hot Chili Peppers. Ok, so I start putting it on in a way it could go on and discovered these two holes that I thought maybe my balls should go through. Ok kinky af I like it. Unfortunately, my balls are not fitting through there. Ok so I do the best I can and use the string to tie it up then lay down on the bed to present myself to the wife. She finishes her shower and comes into the bedroom. I’m like yeah, this is gonna be awesome and bust a sexy pose for her while smiling seductively at her when she walks in. She starts laughing. Hard. Crying laughing. I do not feel good about this and my self esteem is now destroyed. I shamefully take it off, feeling really bad about this. She laughs harder. I’m thinking Damn what a weird setup. About 10 minutes later after she has finally finished laughing she comes to the living room where I’m sulking and explains herself. It was a Christmas hat for the cat. Those holes were for his ears. Now I’m like well my balls have been all in this hat, should we still give it to him? More laughter. We washed it and put it on the cat, he hates it. TL;DR: I tried putting on a sexy outfit for my wife but it was a hat for the cat.