A few weeks ago, my foundation shifted *just* enough that my toilet blocked my shower door. The bigger issue was, I was inside the shower when this occurred. So there I was, trapped like a drenched rat, completely naked, desperately trying to work the shower door open.

Realizing I was stuck, I attempted to turn the water off but *both* handles broke loose in my hands, causing the water to spray out at full blast.

Nearly three days passed before my wife came to check on me, and when she finally did, all she could do was laugh and point at how my already diminutive micropenis had shriveled down to the size of a raisin.