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Submitted by cummy on December 11, 2021

When I was a kid I had a friend named Carl. We were about 8 at the time. We'd play video games a lot. Mortal Kombat was my favorite game. I'd kick the shit out of Carl though. He couldn't play for shit. Useless like tits on a bull. He raged one day and broke my damn game. His mother wouldn't replace it with a new copy either! I remained calm but I was livid inside. We stayed "friends" after that happened only so I could serve up revenge for the broken Mortal Kombat.

About a week later I went into my back yard, dug up a fire ant nest, and poured them into a gallon ziploc bag. I put the bag of ants in my school backpack and went to see Carl. When I was at his house I made an excuse to get him out of his room and when I had the chance I ant bombed his closet. He was a dirty kid so they went unnoticed under a pile of old clothes. I would go on to do this several times and not just in Carl's room. No I poured some inside Carl's living room couch too when we had a sleepover. All total I emptied 4 or 5 ziplocs in their house hidden in various areas.

They ended up with an infestation of fire ants. It took about a month or two to go from Carl's family coming across an ant here or there to getting bit while watching TV or trying to sleep. They had to pay an ant man to come and sort out the situation.

They didn't know I was the reason for the ants and I never had to pay for the ant man. They never paid for my Mortal Kombat. The score's even. It's decades and decades later now and I just wanted to say fuck you Carl for breaking my shit all because you played like you ain't had thumbs. I'll ant bomb your shit again you asshole.