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Submitted by cummy on December 1, 2021

I'mm 35 and have never worked a day in my life (mommy has money so why should I bother?) I also already HAVE a job, but she doesn’t believe moderating subreddits is physical labor (I get sweaty when people make fun of me)

That being said, she came into my room today and started bitching for no reason. Stuff like “I’VE WASTED MY ENTIRE LIFE ON YOU!” Blah blah blah. I told her that I refuse to work until the pay is good. She has the balls to bring up “YOU TURNED DOWN A $25/HR JOB YOUR UNCLE OFFERED YOU YESTERDAY!” To which I wittingly replied that anything under $300/hr is slave labor. (I’m very clever) I also informed her that me and my reddit friends (I call them homies in mod chat) are currently partaking in the Black Friday Blackout. SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WAS!!!

I carefully explained to her that me and a couple hundred other redditors with no jobs are refusing to work for two weeks as well as not buying any funko pops. I explained that this will collapse the global financial market and will result in the government giving everyone $10,000 a week forever.

Despite my heroic deeds, my mom proceeded to call me “an absolute mistake” and smashed my $8000 gaming PC. She then told me to leave her house so that she can enjoy “what little time I have left on this earth” and threatened to call the cops.

I’m standing outside now. How should I handle this?